Woke up at 4:30 this morning and am pretty much wide awake. To much going on in my mind again. I think way to much. Its a problem I get from my dad lol.
Christmas is one that has been on my mind a lot. the big question at the moment is what the hell do I get people? Its an expected thing now days, to recive a gift on christmas. Right?
Strangely I don't feel that way any more. I have learned what my love language is and thats all I can think of. (My lave language is acts of service and quality time). I would love just to make more memories with my family..
But again there is an expectation that I feel that I must meet. Its a tough thing, in my mind, no matter what I get, it would not be good enough, nothing that really truely have meaning at all.
Sounds stupid right?
Haha
Comformaty is the only way to go now I guess. That sounds worse than in the context I mean it. I guess some just forget the meaning of Christmas, its a day to celebrate with your family, to be around them in all their unconditional love. To make new memories, to remember why you love that person the way you do. A day of love right.
Now days its getting the right present or, now days, rage consumes. I mean have you seen some of the shit on youtube and facebook about it? My mum and dad got me the wrong iPhone or the wrong car... OMFG you got an iPhone and a car you little shit be mother fucking grateful.
I dont want something that is just an object. I want moments, I want memories. Times back that I can relive again and again so that I can smile and my faith in Love is returned.
Rather gloomy post as usual, but today is a good day, I'm feeling rather happy haha.
Just tired again coz its is way to fucking early to be up and awake.
So, back to trying to sleep, and if that fails, guess I'll read manga.
Have a happy Christmas guys.
Peace yall :3
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